Choosing a therapist can sometimes feel like throwing darts in the dark. You take a chance, walk into an office or log onto a screen, and hope this person will understand you. But sometimes you leave sessions wondering: Did they really get me? Do they understand what I’m struggling with? Is this the right approach for me?
That uncertainty can be discouraging. Therapy takes courage, energy, and trust. When you feel like you’re not connecting with your therapist, it can make the whole process feel harder than it already is. Some people even give up on therapy altogether, assuming that if it didn’t “work” with one therapist, it won’t work at all. But the truth is, finding the right fit matters just as much as the therapy itself—and you deserve to find a therapist who feels like the right partner in your healing journey.
Why the Fit Matters So Much
Therapy isn’t just about techniques or treatment plans. It’s about the relationship you build with the person sitting across from you—or on the other side of the screen. That relationship creates the foundation for trust, and trust is what allows you to open up, be vulnerable, and do the hard work of healing.
If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist, you may find yourself holding back. Maybe you censor what you say because you don’t feel safe sharing. Perhaps you go along with their approach even if it doesn’t feel right, because you don’t want to disappoint them. Or maybe you just don’t feel a connection, and every session feels like a chore instead of a space for relief.
When therapy feels like this, making progress becomes harder. But when you feel understood, supported, and respected by your therapist, the opposite happens. You’re more likely to take risks, dig deeper, and challenge yourself in ways that lead to meaningful change.
Signs That a Therapist May Be a Good Fit
So how do you know if a therapist is right for you? One of the most evident signs is a sense of being heard. Do you feel like your therapist listens without judgment? Do they reflect back what you’ve said in a way that makes you feel understood?
Another sign is comfort. Therapy isn’t always comfortable—after all, you’re talking about difficult topics—but you should feel safe in the discomfort. If you leave sessions feeling shamed, dismissed, or overlooked, that’s a red flag.
The therapist’s approach also matters. Some people benefit from structured, skill-based therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), while others require more open-ended exploration. A good therapist will explain their approach, check in about how it feels for you, and adjust when needed. You should never feel like therapy is something being done to you. It should feel collaborative—something you and your therapist are working on together.
Finally, trust your intuition. Sometimes you know when the connection is there. Even if you can’t explain why, you feel at ease in their presence. That feeling can be a powerful indicator that you’ve found the right fit.
Signs That a Therapist May Not Be a Good Fit
On the other hand, it’s also important to recognize when therapy isn’t working. If you consistently leave sessions feeling unheard, misunderstood, or discouraged, it may be a sign that the fit isn’t right. If your therapist dismisses your concerns, pushes you too quickly, or doesn’t take time to understand your goals, you may struggle to feel safe opening up.
Sometimes, it’s not about anything the therapist is doing wrong—it’s simply about chemistry. Just as you don’t connect equally with every friend or coworker, you may not connect equally with every therapist. That doesn’t mean therapy won’t work for you. It just means you haven’t found the right therapeutic relationship yet.
Giving Yourself Permission to Speak Up
One of the most significant barriers to finding the right therapist is the fear of speaking up. Many people worry about hurting their therapist’s feelings or feel guilty for questioning whether the relationship is working. However, remember that therapy is for you. Your therapist’s job is to support you, not the other way around.
It’s okay to ask questions, express concerns, or request changes. It’s okay to say, “I don’t think this approach is working for me.” A good therapist will welcome that feedback and use it to adjust your treatment. And if the fit truly isn’t right, they can often help you transition to someone who may be a better match.
How BWC Helps You Find the Right Fit
At Behavioral Wellness Clinic, we recognize the importance of the therapeutic relationship. That’s why we encourage open conversations with patients about preferences, needs, and goals. We don’t expect you to adapt to one style of therapy—we work with you to find the style, therapist, and approach that feels right.
We offer multiple therapy options and specialists, so you’re not limited to a single path. If you start with one therapist and feel the fit isn’t quite right, you’re not stuck. We’ll work with you to find someone who better aligns with your personality, struggles, and goals.
Our focus is on creating a safe, supportive environment where you feel empowered to take an active role in your care. Therapy is a collaboration, and you should always feel like your voice matters.
Why It’s Worth the Effort
Finding the right therapist can be a time-consuming process, and it can feel frustrating. But the effort is worth it. When you find someone who feels like the right fit, therapy becomes a place of safety, growth, and hope. It becomes less about “getting through sessions” and more about building a relationship that supports real change.
Remember, you’re not looking for a perfect person. You’re looking for someone who can walk alongside you in your journey, provide tools and insights, and create a space where you feel understood. That connection can make all the difference in your healing.
Final Thoughts
Choosing a therapist isn’t guesswork—it’s about finding the relationship that helps you feel safe, understood, and supported. If you’ve tried therapy before and felt discouraged, don’t give up. The right fit is out there, and when you find it, therapy can become one of the most meaningful investments you ever make in yourself.
At BWC, we’re here to help you find that fit. You don’t have to navigate it alone, and you don’t have to settle for a relationship that doesn’t feel supportive. Your healing matters too much for that.