Understanding the Pain of Loneliness and How to Help
Humans are by nature social creatures, living in groups since the beginning of time. Social groups have allowed humans to successfully survive, evolve, and further thrive through the building of far-reaching societies and international communication methods. However, the abundance of people and the presence of communication methods don’t guarantee that everyone is comfortably situated in a social environment.
A variety of sources can cause feelings of isolation regardless of the number of people you’re surrounded by. Many people suffer from perceived social isolation and feelings of loneliness but don’t know how damaging it can be physically and mentally. However, there are many interventions that can alleviate lonely feelings and improve people’s overall well-being.
Causes for Perceived Social Isolation
What factors can cause people to begin feeling lonely and isolated? Unfortunately, feelings of loneliness are not as straightforward as they may seem; there are many factors that can cause feelings of social isolation, which can interact in unique ways.
There can be an underlying genetic cause to loneliness. Genes connected to immune system functioning and certain neurotransmitters can be related to feelings of loneliness. However, these genes can be mitigated or aggravated throughout your lifetime through epigenetics: gene expression modified through environmental influences and experiences.
In addition to genetics, early factors influencing loneliness include the environment you grow up in. Family education and routines internally build personal outlines for how to behave in social interactions, expectations around others, and what our social circles will consist of, all of which can influence perceived isolation and feelings of social dissatisfaction (Rokach, 2018a).
Certain intrinsic characteristics such as gender, race, sexuality, mental illness, and physical disability are often part of groups considered marginalized, which presents an inherent isolation from society. For example, those in minority races can feel isolated and disconnected from others due to being visibly different from the majority of people around them (Rokach, 2018b).
In general, feelings of loneliness often coincide with one’s personal desires of social connection rather than a specific amount of time spent with friends or how many friends one has. So, as opposed to “You should see friends once a week,” it’s more that some people may feel content seeing friends once a week, others once a month, etc. (Nicolaisen & Thorsen, 2016).
Despite research attempts to discern causes of loneliness, there are many complex and interconnected ways in which people can begin to feel isolated; you may not even know why you yourself feel lonely at any given time. Regardless, social isolation remains a serious issue that many people suffer from.
The Detriments of Social Isolation
Spending extended periods of time alone may not seem like a big deal, but in reality, it can be detrimental to mental and physical health. As a social species, our “behavioral, neural, hormonal, cellular, and genetic mechanisms” evolved in a way to support social behaviors, as it has allowed us to survive for millennia (Cacioppo et al., 2011). Therefore, a lack of social interactions means that our internal systems are not functioning in their intended ways.
Loneliness often results in the neglecting of general self-care and responsibilities, often coinciding with depressive symptoms. Those in isolation may ignore duties like cleaning, eating, and exercising, which can impact physical health as well as mental health.
Significantly, loneliness has been linked to cardiovascular issues, worse outcomes for illness management and recovery, and overall lowered mortality (Holt‐Lunstad, 2024). As well, cognitive functioning can be impacted by perceived social isolation, where attentional control, emotional regulation, and other executive functioning can be impaired. Lonelier people also tend to have overall more negative moods and higher attention directed toward negative stimuli (Cacioppo & Hawkley, 2009). Despite the negative consequences that stem from social isolation, it is never too late to get help.
Repairing Feelings of Loneliness
As social isolation stems from a variety of complex and intertwined causes, there are also many types of interventions that can benefit people. There are many strategies to stave off feelings of loneliness, ranging from structured therapies to casual recreational activities. These include but are not limited to:
- Mentoring programs
- Community engagement (ex. libraries, museums)
- Volunteering
- Groups/clubs centered around recreational activities (ex. sports, book clubs)
- Group therapy
- Social technologies
- Psychological therapy
- Occupational therapy
- Health services aimed at addressing social care needs
Structured Interventions
Interventions such as mentoring programs, therapies, and health services are all structured programs that allow people to get in contact with others to increase social interaction and/or address feelings of loneliness and overall mental health.
Mentoring programs are excellent interventions for social isolation as they facilitate contact with others while creating a reciprocal relationship based on need and skills. Therapies are most useful for reducing stress and depression that social isolation can cause while increasing overall mental well-being. The professionals facilitating therapies are also able to guide people towards other mental health resources and could recommend more tailored interventions to help reduce loneliness based on their patients’ needs and interests. Health services help with those who may be unable to participate in recreational activities and need greater physical support (Paquet et al., 2023).
Informal Interventions
Interventions like volunteering, joining clubs, and using social technologies can be very useful to treat social isolation but may require more initiative than other intervention options, since they are more self-directed.
However, more self-directed interventions often offer more flexibility and a wider range of topics. When volunteering, joining groups, or using technologies, you can personally choose what suits your needs and interests. You’re able to choose volunteering hours for causes you find meaningful or interesting. In clubs you can discover or relearn hobbies or activities you’re drawn towards and go on a journey with others committing to the same club. Similarly, social technologies have endless options to choose from and personalize in order to connect with people with common interests.
Social isolation is a complex issue with detrimental effects. Many people are vulnerable to feelings of loneliness, unaware of the tolls it can take on physical and mental health. Fortunately, there are comprehensive interventions that address various aspects of social isolation based on personal circumstances. It’s never too late to combat unwanted feelings of loneliness, depression, and social isolation.